Wallets and Such Like

About a week ago, I was out for my roommate's birthday. It wasn't late, only about 11:30 pm, and we were at a bar in the Bywater neighborhood called Vaughn's (recently featured on HBO's Treme). I walked her out to my car to put one of her birthday presents ( a homemade pinata because, duh, we're grown-ups) in the car. As we were about to leave, a teenage kid solicited us to use our cell phones. We we said no, he pulled out a hand gun, and proceeded to solicit us for our money. Naturally, we obliged. Fortunately, my car keys were in my hand and phone was stashed in, ahem, a pocket. The kid didn't get much from me: credit/debit cards some gum, Tylenol, my $7 man's wallet, my favorite purse, and my $300 William Sonoma gift card (WHICH I bled for) , and from Jennie: her cell and work phone, keys, camera and maybe about 40 bucks. I'm sure he was disappointed that neither of us even had any lipstick in there. Just kidding. All in all, it was a pretty scary situation, but I handled it pretty well. Plus the detective was a major babe, and I totally got his card. ....Ok, ok, for informational purposes only, but still.

FAST FORWARD A WEEK.

I now have my new credit card and one of my new debit cards. I'm even sporting a new purse and wallet, an AWESOME gift from my Aunt Kathy and cousin Jennifer. I'm wearing the same dress. We had some cocktails and went out dancing. The eveninng draws to a close, and BJ, Lauren, Nick, and I hail a cab home. I planned to crash on their couch, since my car was parked at their house. But the cabbie conveniently went right past my house, so I jumped out and went home.   In my hasty exit from the cab, I failed to put my wallet back in my purse.

What a disappointing Saturday morning to realize that thirty dollars and my brand wallet were gone. My debit card didn't even survive its maiden voyage. Fortunately, I am quite the expert at cancelling debit cards, since I am also quite the expert at losing them. But never in this expediency. It was quite the awkward phone call to Capital One. I enjoyed the rest of the weekend doing nothing.

FAST FORWARD TO MONDAY EVENING

After work, I came home and checked the mail. I was expecting my debit card from my bank in Princeton - which still hadn't arrived from when I cancelled it after the robbery. There was a package in the mailbox. A package! Could it be for me?! I thought. No, I concluded; it never is.

But it was.

My wallet had made it's way back to my house with a note found on the packaging from the kind U.S. Postal Service that said, "Found Loose in Mail." No cash, but all my cards and I.D. were there. Yes. True story. The cabby was a good Samaritan thief who took all my cash and dropped my wallet in the mail. Yes. That happens. Good Samaritan thieves. Let us also note, that had my wallet not been stolen from me a week earlier, and it would have been impossible for me to receive a lost wallet in the mail as I had not updated since  I left my first apartment. And now I might go knock on the door of the people who live in my old apartment to see if my handsome man's wallet with the great i.d. picture ended up on their doorstep.

This is my life. It should be on film.