In which I Lose Both my Legs

If having stress fractures and a giant boot on my left leg wasn't enough, I have recently suffered another casualty. Since I had to postpone my trip to Alaska (which is looking completely cancelled at this point), I took off for Florida to camp at Big Lagoon State Park with my friend Ashley and her dog Toby.

The people of Florida seem friendly, but the sentiment has not rubbed off on the insect population. At the beach, I got bit by something. I presumed it was a fire ant or something of the sort. Regardless, the little bugger bit me three times, leaving a tiny triangle of tiny blisters an inch above my right knee. At first it slowly swelled up to the size of a quarter, like a bee sting. But it didn't stop there. By bed time, the bite was the size of my palm. It seemed ludicrous to believe that it would continue to grow. I woke up expecting to find it smaller, but instead, it was hot to the touch, brighter red, and the size of my whole hand.

A few Benadryl later, and it hadn't gone down. I really didn't think much of it until I called my dad for Father's Day, and he suggested going to the emergency room. And my dad doesn't use those words lightly. We are talking about the man who, after I broke both of my arms in early morning basketball practice, asked my mom if I could wait until the doctor's office opened at nine o'clock.

I hemmed and hawed about going, and went over to my friend Nick's house to watch Trueblood and Treme  on HBO as per usual Sunday night. Nick is cut of the same cloth as my dad when it comes to going to the hospital. He usually tells me to be man about things like injuries, so when his face screwed up in disgust at the red softball sized lump on my leg, I figured it might be time.

After being quizzed about my antibiotic allergies by the E.R. doctor, he gave me a script Cypro and sent me on my way. The redness and swelling hasn't gone down, but the temperature has.  The kicker is this: He told me to elevate my feet as much as possible and to stay off them. I know I should be doing that anyway with my broken foot, but sitting still isn't in my nature. I don't have much of a choice any more since I don't have any legs left.

If anyone would care to purchase a Hoveround for me, it would be put to good use. I promise.