And then.

The Story of my Insurance

This is a very long and irritating story. I will spare you the many details, as well as the weeping and gnashing of teeth. Here is a brief outline.

I. I hate them
II. They're stupid.
III. They are slow.
IV. The website they supposedly update weekly for changes still has two doctors listed with phone numbers that are out of service at a hospital that has been closed for three years because of Katrina.
V. I hate my insurance company and think they are stupid.

The very thought of my insurance company makes me want to either burst into tears or rip things to shreds. I wish I could type out the sound of annoyance to the extreme of agony.

oh!

It's like summer here. I think it's love. So now I am bragging. Every other time I've talked about the weather was just commentary. This time I am out and out bragging. It is unfreakingbelievably beautiful. I can't remember when I have seen bluer skies or greener grass.

It amazes me every spring that this spring is more beautiful than any year ever before. The sky gets bluer, the grass gets greener, the flowers bloom with more grace than any other year. I am always most hopeful in the spring time. I can pray a million prayers of thanks; I can smile with genuinity. Any awful thing doesn't seem as awful any more when the sun is out. Even the list of one million things I have to do isn't long any more. Everything reallyis sunshine and lollipops and rainbows every day when it is spring time.

Spring time always makes me nostalgic though. I want to study on the Green Space, Angie's ice cream, and free North Park black bean burgers. Chicago downtown is an adventure when it starts to get warm. I want summer to be a looming event, instead of knowing that I will be working every day and sweltering through 99% humidity. I am so nostalgic and starry eyed right now; it's disgusting.

commentary

Weddings

Every time I have stood up in a wedding (ok, a whole 2 times), I have been frustrated because I couldn't see my friend's face beaming while she said her vows. I could only see her profile, and the groom's face. It's not like I have something against grooms, but I am standing up for the bride, and I want to see her.

I had an "aha moment" when Katie and Andy were saying their vows. I couldn't see Katie's face, but I could see his face. I could see him looking into her eyes and promising to be there for her for the rest of their lives. I realized that we were standing up there to be more than witnesses for the two of them. When Katie said, "I do," we were there to say, we will be there to support you, and we will hold you to that promise. When he said, "I do..." we could see the love in his eyes, so that if a day ever comes, we'll be able to remind Katie that there is love there. We can say to Andy, "we were there, and we are going to hold you to your promise."

I suppose that everyone else knows that, but it was an epiphany for me. I never really understood it, until then.

Money, money, money

I will trade only in furs. I will have
children only for bartering purposes
(kidding). I will start
evading my taxes,
losing my bills,
maxing out my credit
because what good
is paying any of it?

I'll sleep in a tent on
the side of the road
and I'll ride a horse and
drive a buggy to avoid
fuel tax, and I'll work only under
the table and take my cash
as monopoly money.
Forget Mr. Money bags.
I refuse to be like him
because I can't be him.

One-der
There's lots of different types of One.
Isn't there?

do-over

remember when we were kids and every time your team made a mistake in a game, you called a do-over? i wish you could do that with real life. every time something happen that i don't like, everytime i do something stupid, and every time i open my big mouth, i wish i could cancel it with a do-over. the thing is, do-overs don't even really cancel out your mistake. sometimes the do-over is everyone's fault. sometimes it's just an accident. regardless, the mistake is still there. the other team is still mad at you for calling a do-over, but they are going to do better next time. you are going to do better. everyone stops, accepts the mistake, and keeps going. there is no shame in a do-over, no having to apologize, or letting the accident stew over night. the best part is that the do-over is a fresh start. what happened is in the past, and you can put your best, or at least better, foot forward.

i wish it was still acceptable to call a do-over.

just in case you didn't know,
i'm the office farter.

does that surprise anyone?