After Imaginary

After (my favorite poem) Lisel Mueller's "Imaginary Paintings"

I. How I would paint the future

A bubble growing bigger and more threatening until
it explodes into now.

II. How I would paint happiness

A surprise that you made for me
on a day when I am lonely.
A letter in the mail on top of the
bills, an invitation; a slayer
of loneliness.

III. How I would paint death

A hole in the ground.
A pit. No light, no shadow.
Just an empty hole and hands
trying, trying
trying to climb.

IV. How I would paint love

I could not paint something I have
only touched. In darkness or

blindness, I have felt it;
Warm, fragile wild. But I have never

seen it, so I would paint with my eyes

closed, paint with my heart for a brush.

V. How I would paint the leap of faith

I would paint you falling
with your eyes closed.

VI. How I would paint the Big Lie

Suits and coats and warm handshakes.
Eyes that should be warm: dying, dead, and shutters
open. Mouths whispering.
Baking pies with vinegar,
stuffed with apologies
and a bitter taste of gossip.

VII. How I would paint nostalgia

Lake Michigan in September, an empty beach.
Holding hands and kissing and not knowing.
The sun in the half afternoon light; it is following
footprints, freezing shadows in the sand.