Forrest Gump

For the record: I am calling this student J-man in this blog because it as about as appropriate as I can get. There is actually another student that I call J-man because his belt buckle is a giant J with rhinestones all over it, but since this story is not about him, I'm ok with it.

Every Monday and Wednesday I get to work around noon or one. Every Monday and Wednesday, the first thing I see is J-man waving all crazy like at me. That is really what I hope my welcome to heaven is like because, on a day-to-day basis, no one ever is that excited to see me. It makes me feel pretty good.

Every Monday and Wednesday, I say, "Hey J-man, how you doin'?" and look down to see what he's working on. And every Monday and Wednesday, it is the same: basic multiplication. I'm not sure how long J-man has been trying to get the concept of multiplication, but one thing is for sure: he has been dong the same work sheets for the last three weeks. Every time starts off the same. I remind him that 3x2 means that you have 2 groups of 3 or 3 groups of 2. He gets it for about 2 seconds. I walk away, and then things really fall apart.

Even though he doesn't get the multiplication, and I am positive he had some sort of undiagnosed learning disability or special need, it isn't discouraging for the J-man. He "don't let life get 'em down" because he "go to church every Sunday, Molly, every Sunday." Plus he got himself a fine "baby girl" [girlfriend] to talk to on the phone about the new Hannah Montana movie that is coming out in April (it's already marked on his calendar).

Today J-man was in rare form.

Fidelity

J-man: I saw you at the store this weekend, Molly.

m: Oh yeah at the grocery? Why didn't you say hi?

j-man: I was in my friend's mom's car. I couldn't get out. (Brief pause where he only looks at 5x1) Did you take that survey?

[The survey was about Katrina, and was being solicited by some pretty college-age girls.]

j-man: Yeah. I did get out the car for that. Axually, my friend's mom told me to get out of the car for that. They were....

m: They were really pretty, weren't they?

j-man: Yeah....I...I...I flirted a lil bit. And it's okay because I'm only partially attached. So I flirted.

m: [quizzical look] You mean...?

j-man: My girlfriend lives in California, so it's okay.

I was laughing so hard that I couldn't sit up straight. His relationship advice was off the chain.

Forrest Gump

J-man: Molly, you got 50 cent?

M: No.

J-man: I gotta walk home. I was hoping to catch the bus. But....I be like, like the black version of Forrest Gump! I loooove Forrest Gump!

The J-man didn't know how dead on he was. Or maybe he did. But that's exACTly who he is.

myspace

J-man: Molly, you on myspace?

M: [not feeling guilty for lying] No.

J-man: Man. I got soooo many friends. I got about 800 hundred friends. Lots of really pretty girls, too. Reaaaaal pretty girls!

M: [really not feeling bad any more. obviously, i'd only be a number.] Wow.

J-man: Yeah, when I was in school, people used to call me stupid and retarded. But NOW LOOK AT ME! Where were they back then?! I bet they're sorry! [pops his collar a lil bit.]

Forrest Gump Cont'd or Are you Trying to Impress Me?

J-man: You know what I did today?

M: [frustrated that he has not been doing his multiplication] What?

J-man: This lady came up to me, and she wasn't around here, like she didn't sound like she was around here. And she said, "'scuse me, sir, you have a dollar?" So I gave her a dollar. It wasn't like it was anything. I mean, I'd probably go try to buy something I didn't need. It wasn't anything to me.

M: [if you had kept your dollar, you wouldn't be asking me for 50 cent.]

Breakthrough?

I really enjoy working with J-man, and today I really think we made a break through. I think he is finally starting to understand the concept of multiplication. I gave him a pile of paper clips so that we could count out the answer to each problem. It seemed mildly successful.

We'll see what the self-proclaimed black Forrest Gump will bring for me on Thursday.....