there's no such thing as 10/9 anymore

Thoughts on My Old Boyfriend's Suicide

Someone else, he tried,
he tried to make it is.
He said he’s looked at
the other side of heaven, and
almost went there, too.
He didn’t choose to go.
I’m glad he didn’t get there.

(9/29)

A Bad Day

made me moody
today
to hear your name
spoken in a reverent way.
made me moody
today
to know that
tomorrow
some time ago
you
chose
to leave us.
me.

made me moody to
remember that
you wanted me to
be with you
and that you wanted
to go, too
made me moody
to remember
ketchup
and
lacing fingers
made me moody
to miss
made me moody
to want
stars
or
anything or anybody
else.
and it makes me moody
that
i don’t need you
so much anymore.

(10/8)