i haven't slept well in the last week. twisted dreams that keep me from resting. i dream of ghosts and familiar faces and people that i don't know yet, people that i maybe never will. the faces blur together in the dreams. often there are emergencies; a sense of urgency pervades my sleep.

it could be the dreams that are keeping me from sleep, but more likely, it's probably the futon i've been sleeping on. it will have a special place in heaven; i love it very dearly. one side is more worn in than the other, a comfy little nest. i loved that nest this summer, but it's gotten less recently. i've had to sleep on the edge of the nest. because my bed is in the corner of my room against two walls and the frame lends the bed to lie flat on the floor, i feel very small and alone when i am outside of the nest.

my parents offered to help me find a bed before i moved, and my dad wanted to help me find one before i left, but stubbornly i refused. this futon had seen me through the best and the worst times, and i would not let it go. it had been good enough for the summer, and it would be good enough for me now.

the event of the roaches changed my mind. for a week after the first sighting, i threw my covers back before i climbed into bed, making sure there was nothing in bed but me. it was time to face facts: it was time to look for another place to sleep beside that futon.

i perused craigslist several times a day, emailing about mattresses posted. i hoped to find a decent one for a decent prize. i emailed, making sure to add that i was a volunteer in need of furnishings, but no repsonses. finally, i finally got a hold of one. a free one. what more could i ask for? it was cheap, and a place to sleep. i talked to the guy on the phone. "there's no stains," he said. "it's a little worn. it was in this apartment i'm about to move into, and i just want to get rid of it. "

"you've got yourself a deal," i said.

my friends laura and andrew and i went to pick it up on sunday.

bob had the mattress waiting for us on the corner of toulouse and royal. he looked different than i expected. he was very professional sounding, with a steady voice. his waist long pony-tail threw me off a little bit, but it was well-groomed and healthy, at least.

the mattress wasn't what i hoped it would be, but, i reminded myself, nothing ever is. it was a little tattered near the handles, and it was a little dirtier looking than i had anticipated. a little lysol, i thought, will make it live-able.

we said goodbye to bob, and headed home. we carried it inside and propped it up against the wall so i could proceed with the lysol-ing. and then i saw it. it could be just a piece of dirt, mulch from the garden outside, i thought. but i looked closer just to be sure. a strange bug that i'd never seen before. "is that lice?" i asked in a loud voice, not a shriek, but very concerned. i thought i was just being overly concerned.

examining the bug, my roommate confirmed my analysis. i reached for the lysol, and sprayed. it scurried away. near tears, i looked blankly at laura and chrissy. this was no good. after much debate and encouragement from my friends, we carried the mattress outside and left it on the street for the garbage man or some unsuspecting fool, whoever got to it first.

the good news, is that i have made an investment in a bed, also used and from craigslist, but comfy and clean from a youngish couple. it was worth paying for the frame, springs, and mattress to know that i'm not going to be dealing with lice any time soon.

* * * * *

thursday i was working with C, a student in one of my intermediate classes. i'm not sure, but i think that chris has some sort of learning disability or possibly something more advanced than that. i'm not sure what it is, but there's something on the other side of his big liquid brown eyes that just doesn't seem to spark. he's mild-mannered and sweet, and he speaks so softly that sometimes i can't even hear him.

we were working on geometry, going over the basic perimeter and area of shapes. he understood perimeter pretty well, but the area was hard for him.

"okay, so if we're building a fence around the triangle, what do we do?"

"we add up the sides, ten plus ten plus ten."

"right. so now, C, if we want to cover our triangle with a tarp, what do we have to do?"

"wait, molly. what kind a tarp we need? how we gonna cover this triangle?"

i laughed a little bit, but C was completely earnest. he wanted to solve the problem to the best of his ability.

i tired to use it as a teachable moment. "well, C, it doesn't matter so much how we get the triangle covered right now. we have to figure out how much we are going to need in order to cover it?"

it was going nowhere, but he was trying. he'll get there. maybe we'll actually have to go buy tarp in order to help him understand.