reasons i did not move to new orleans

reasons i did not move to new orleans:
1.) ghosts
2.) cockroaches

so last i wrote, i mentioned the ghost that i said lived in my shotgun. i really didn't believe it. logically, i knew it was just the people next door. sometimes i would hear weird noises in the kitchen when my roommate wasn't home. they made me a little nervous, but since i am still in a new place, i convinced myself that it wasn't anything to be concerned with. i'm not just used to the house yet.

until today. i mean maybe it's nothing. maybe it's just the house resettling, since my landlord has been working on balancing it. today while i was getting ready in the morning, chrissy came into my room. "did you feel that?" she asked. i shook my head. she was laying on her bed reading, and something shook her. obviously it wasn't an earthquake...but what was it? it happened again tonight after i went into the kitchen. she said she felt it again while i was in the kitchen and she was in the living room. strange.

ghosts, mildly disturbing. ghosts i feel like i can deal with. you know, the power of prayer, the priest coming and blessing the house, and that.

but cockroaches. SERIOUSLY.

two nights ago we were watching a movie, and this big black blob scuttles across the floor. the sucker was about an inch and a half long, with wings and antennae. i screamed and jumped on the couch, and chrissy sat in the chair, completely frozen. there were two, scurrying around by the fireplace and tv. i know cockroaches are cockroaches, but THESE cockroaches fly. FLY.

my biggest fear about the cockroaches comes from the fact that my bed is a futon that is on the ground. WHERE THE COCKROACHES ARE. while standing on the couch, i called my friend bj and asked what to do. "if i try to kill it, will it fly at me?" i asked. he recommended not hunting it out. but after putting on my socks and shoes (literally) i managed to kill one with the rubber mallet (i think it was already dead). after i went to bed, i dreamed terrible dreams. every time i threw back the covers on my bed, i found more cockroaches.

the next day chrissy went out and bought roach motels and boric acid which she put along the cracks in the walls. all was well. i felt safe at night, and slept better than i had for the last few nights.

but tonight it was full out war. i'm in the living room, filling out some paperwork, and i hear screaming coming from chrissy's room. i'm thinking it's the ghost again. NO. two huge disgusting cockroaches. i grabbed the mallet and smashed the hell out of the one in the kitchen. as i flushed it down the toilet, the second roach crawled down the wall and underneath chrissy's shoe. in a team effort, she lifted the shoe and i smashed it. the third one was waiting for me in the kitchen.

i can only imagine what they neighbors were thinking. we were screaming, cursing, there were almost tears, and lots of pounding as i beat the roaches into pieces.

i almost don't want to go to bed. they come out when it's dark, roaches and ghosts.