The thing I actively forget is that what is up to me in this world is both microscopic and infinite. The only things up to me are the choices I make. And those can be so big that they are terrifying and so small they aren't even noticeable. Nothing, nothing else is up to me.

i haven't written in months. i've been too caught up in life to write about it. 

(not writing about it scares me. i don't want to forget about it. but i have not journal or chronicled anything for months.)

2011 was a year of personal cartography

2012 is a year of personal expedition

i am here and i learn and i love.

and i don't think that is so bad.

Langston Hughes

I'll always think
when I hear
            Langston  Hughes
of the moment a student
rapped
            "The Weary Blues"
for the class and
for me.

The Weary Blues
   Langston Hughes

Droning a drowsy syncopated tune,
Rocking back and forth to a mellow croon,
 I heard a Negro play.
Down on Lenox Avenue the other night
By the pale dull pallor of an old gas light
 He did a lazy sway . . .
 He did a lazy sway . . .
To the tune o' those Weary Blues.
With his ebony hands on each ivory key
He made that poor piano moan with melody.
 O Blues!
Swaying to and fro on his rickety stool
He played that sad raggy tune like a musical fool.
 Sweet Blues!
Coming from a black man's soul.
 O Blues!
In a deep song voice with a melancholy tone
I heard that Negro sing, that old piano moan--
 "Ain't got nobody in all this world,
 Ain't got nobody but ma self.
 I's gwine to quit ma frownin'
 And put ma troubles on the shelf."

Thump, thump, thump, went his foot on the floor.
He played a few chords then he sang some more--
 "I got the Weary Blues
 And I can't be satisfied.
 Got the Weary Blues
 And can't be satisfied--
 I ain't happy no mo'
 And I wish that I had died."
And far into the night he crooned that tune.
The stars went out and so did the moon.
The singer stopped playing and went to bed
While the Weary Blues echoed through his head.
He slept like a rock or a man that's dead.

Grillz

Today was my first solo grilling attempt ever. At 9:30 in the morning. I would say it was mostly successful, although my pork chops were a little dry. Thanks to my friend Katie for witnessing the event over the phone. Everything was mostly successful.

Mmmm. Steak and eggs for breakfast.

Now I have to get my rear in gear for work. Blerg. I have done so well at being on time lately (believe it or not...I've been on time or early for most events in my life lately!)...But not today. Oops. Oh well, it's Wednesday.

Ahoy Mates!

This is where I will be celebrating the 4th of July. What better way to honor our founding fathers, than to relax on the land that Divine Providence led them to acquire and defend? (Pictures of beach to follow.)

If I prepared for most things the way I prepare for the beach, my life would be more beach-like.

A big thanks to the men and women who serve our country. It's pretty rad what you do on a daily basis.

IBurn4U

Last week, my teaching assistant Jasper led a lesson on a study skills lesson on class participation. The lesson was great. He used two short flash fiction stories (stories that have plot but don't give an abundant amount of detail in than 500 words, and leave the reader with many ideas of what the story is about).

One of the stories involved a magic trick, a bottle of wine, and flames. He was trying to help the students to make the connection of the symbolism between passion and fire or burning. To demonstrate, he said, "If I said, 'I burn for you,' what would that mean?" Which of course is a very dangerous thing to say. I was expecting someone to follow up with "It means you need to go to the clinic!" However, the response from one of the girls was much more candid and eased my fear when she yelled out, "IT MEANS YOU'RE AN ARSONIST!"

Yes, obviously, that's what it means. Why didn't I think of that?

Never thought I would ever reach a point in my life where the cure for my bad mood comes from making a payment on my credit card.

Cure is a strong word, I suppose.